5 Signs That You Have Low Self-Esteem (And How To Fix It)

When you have a healthy dose of self-esteem, you have confidence in yourself, you trust that you make the right choices and that you can handle the consequences. It is also the belief that you are entitled to success and happiness. And whether or not you have good self-esteem affects every facet of your life.

How is it with your self-image? Do you have enough confidence? Below see 5 signals of low self-esteem and tips on how to gain more confidence.

1 You have the feeling that you always have to prove yourself.
You are not a rookie, you have experience and have amply proven yourself. But you still feel that you have to constantly prove yourself: at work, at school, even with friends or your partner. If you can’t get rid of that feeling, that you always have to do something about yourself to prove that you are smart, beautiful, good enough, then you do not believe in your own qualities with all your heart.

What can you do about it?
If this applies to you, then it is good to sit back and find out what you actually want to prove, to whom you want to prove yourself and why you feel you have to prove yourself. Focus on your good sides and things you’ve already accomplished so you can start believing in yourself.

2 You have bad relationships
The relationships with people who left you exhausted and rejected. You give and they take, and then they take a little bit more. You have no control over the people who enter your life, but you can choose who you want to put time and energy into. When you put all your energy and time into a bad relationship, you know that it will be difficult. Somewhere deep down you don’t think you deserve a good relationship and real love. That is the best you can get.

What can you do about it?
List the things that make you unique. Are you caring, sociable, sweet, etc.? Put it on your list. If you get compliments from someone, add it to your list. When you start to see your own qualities you will also see that you deserve real love and support.

3 You are completely upset when something goes wrong
The job you lost, you are actually still devastated. Your breakup has taken you off the path for months. And not losing those 10 pounds has angered you for half a year.

Life goes the way it does and is not always easy. We all face illnesses, breakups and disappointments. But when you have low self-esteem, the blow hits even harder. You don’t have the strength to bounce back, you feel like things never get better. Why would you get up if you get knocked down again?

What can you do about it?
Everyone is faced with adversity. But it is very important not to personally take “normal” setbacks in life (the setbacks we all face), some things can happen to anyone and have nothing to do with you. By seeking help in times of crisis you can see that you are not the only one who has to deal with this and you can see that it has nothing to do with you as a person.

4 You call your success “happiness”
When someone really forces you, you may very well be able to list some of the things you have achieved. But once you admit it, you quickly shift these things to happiness. It wasn’t your hard work, your talent or dedication, no you were just lucky… Wrong. You have earned your success, and by not realizing this you are really shorting yourself.

What can you do about it?
While it may feel a little awkward to track your successes, just write down all the things you’ve accomplished. When you write out your ‘trip’ you will probably realize that this did not happen because there was a good fairy nearby, but because you managed to do this yourself.

5 You are not going to chase your dreams
For every dream you have, you can think of 100 excuses why you should not follow this dream. Or even worse, you may not even allow yourself to dream. Why would you, if it never happens …? Not allowing yourself to dream and to picture your ideal life is a sign of low self-esteem. When you don’t do what you really like, life passes you by. And dreams don’t have to be wild fantasies, they are responses to where you want to go.

What can you do about it?
If you find yourself daydreaming about your ideal life, but you are not taking any steps to achieve it, you may want to try the following assignment. Imagine yourself on a train, the destination is your most beautiful life. What would it look like? Who would be there? How would you feel? What would you do?

When you have a clear picture, write down a concrete step you could take to get closer to your goal. Know that you are good enough to take that step. Even a small step can change a lot.

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